The Hillbilly Viking

We came, we saw, we ordered a large Starbucks! 

Patty cracked today. She hasn’t had a Starbucks in over 5,000 miles, and her symptoms were telling. The trembling hands, the random babbling, and the spotty drool—I’ve seen it before. Fortunately, Finns drink more coffee per capita than any other nation, so we had options. Since the sun really hasn’t set since we got here, I can sympathize with the local impulse to stay hyper-jacked on caffeine for several months at a time. Circadian rhythm in the summer, here, is about as useful as the rhythm method everywhere else. 

Since I unwittingly booked our hotel on Helsinki’s version of Rodeo Drive, we easily found a Starbucks between the Louis Vitton and the Taghauer. There’s even a high-end, fashion retailer here named Karvinen. Sadly, shopping there was by prior appointment only, and I also left my American Express Black card in my other velcro wallet (you know, the classy nylon one). I suppose I could have name dropped to get in, but I don’t believe in exploiting nepo-privilege. Perhaps another time. 

Sensing that our pay grade was elsewhere, we wandered toward the waterfront and found the street food vendors and Old Market Hall (OMH is basically a condensed version of Seattle’s Pike Place Market without the flying fish and hipsters or Detroit’s Eastern Market sans the gun play). We would have stayed longer, but it was 80 degrees today, and the nation that ruled the world with Nokia phone technology 20 years ago and brought us the Linux operating system is somehow still not acquainted with air conditioning. In many ways, Europeans are randomly Amish. 

On the other hand, street food here is ridiculous! Instead of sugar-coated churros and elephant ears, it’s huge chunks of grilled salmon and reindeer hot dogs. So even the fast food is healthy. I haven’t bothered to enter a local McDonalds yet, but I suspect even they offer something like a McSalmon Deluxe. 

Tomorrow we try our hand at bus travel. I don’t think there’s a bus station near the Karvinen store (or ever will be), but I’m sure I’ll have more than one opportunity to get a McReindeer happy meal.