Tag: Portugal
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Portu-gone
Well, it’s time to say goodbye to Portugal and their comically affordable healthcare, their cod-scented grocery stores, and their counterintuitive, rectangular toilets (apparently “a round peg in a square hole” is not so much a metaphor there as it is literal, potty training instructions). And yet, I am admittedly melancholy (as well as 4 mini-bottles…
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Planes, Trains & Automobiles
Since this Iberian odyssey began, we’ve 1) mastered the multi-headed hydra that is the train nexus out of Porto (first class definitely ain’t the worst class), 2) blew most of our tip budget on Ubers and Taxis (where we were exposed to enough saucy, traffic-induced Portuguese to make a Tourette’s sufferer take pause), 3) cursed…
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So SATA to see you go.
There are basically two airlines that fly between the Azores and the mainland on a regular basis. One is TAP, a Brazilian carrier that we have actually flown before in another hemisphere and is memorable because passengers clap each time the plane lands (“Yay, the pilot didn’t kill us!). The other is SATA, which is…
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Wash. Rinse. Repeat.
After yesterday’s unexpected foray into extreme tourism, we decided that our mud-covered clothing deserved a play date with a washing machine or the last leg of our journey in Porto was going to be done primarily in the nude, and I only advocate public nudity at the KLM lounge in Amsterdam. The hotel desk clerk…
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Weather or Not
Unfortunately, the weather has not been as predictable on this trip as we would have liked, so plans are always in flux. Before getting here, we read that the Azores is a place you can experience all four seasons in one day. Big deal. Muncie, Indiana makes the same claim. Frankly, every shit-show north of…
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Portuguese Pot Pourri
Since we’re still basking in the afterglow of yesterday’s spa treatment (and metabolizing the mimosas), I thought I’d take the time to clear out some digital miscellany from the trip. But first, Happy Birthday to our good friend, Jill, who is back in the states. Although it is her big day here in the time…
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Brave New Day
Although we didn’t technically plan it this way, our trip to Portugal coincided with our wedding anniversary. And like a lot of older couples who are still very much in love and physically vibrant, we decided to commemorate the occasion by getting naked…and then paying a stranger to touch us. There really is no difference…
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Mother Tongue Tied
As languages go, Portuguese is a bit of a two-faced Judas. As we explore the island of Sao Miquel in our shitty, rented Renault (Renault is French for Chrysler, by the way), the signage is easy enough to translate if you’ve spent any time studying Spanish (or a Doordash menu from the Mexican restaurant on…
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World Tour(ettes)
Growing up, I had an uncle with Tourette’s Syndrome. Sadly, however, it wasn’t the hilarious kind that made him spew the most inappropriate of words during the most appropriate of situations. Uncle Ron just made a repeated, disgusting nasal “honk” that forced you to involuntarily flinch in fear of being hit by the loogie that…
The Hillbilly Viking 