The Hillbilly Viking

Growing up, my father extolled upon us the proud talking points of our Finnish heritage. Sisu, Molotov Cocktails, Sauna, and The Winter War were all covered repeatedly, and most are straight-up, real things of which to be proud. Obviously, that affected me, and a big part of this trip was connecting images with what had only been words most of my life. 

When I was old enough to appreciate our heritage, I asked what the obviously Finnish word Karvinen meant. Most Viking names are descriptive. Naturally, I wanted Karvinen to be a bad-ass moniker with Nordic attitude. Sadly, my family was of little help. A drunken uncle once posited that Karvinen translates to “maker of farm implements.” I don’t know where he got his intel, but seriously? Fuck you. It has to mean something more like “slayer of laser shooting dragon armies” or “deflowerer of multiple Finnys” or my name is not, well, Karvinen. 

So here’s the real deal. I still have no clue what the etymology of Karvinen is, but I do know what it means to most modern Finns. I’ve actually known for a while, but I wanted to make sure. During our visit, I took the time to corroborate with a Finnish librarian and a Finnish hotel concierge, so my sourcing is unimpeachable. Karvinen is, um…

As in…

And…

Yep, that’s real, not AI. In the modern era, my surname is what was chosen for the Finnish version of the Monday-moanin’, lasagna-inhaling, smart-ass, Trump-colored, Ozempic-deficient, feline, cartoon character. 

(And suddenly my seemingly random Garfield lasagna aside in blog post #8 becomes foreshadowing). 

As it stands, an entire generation of Finns fondly remember the popular, 80’s, animated paean to sarcasm, indulgence, and sloth and still call him by his one, true name: Karvinen. 

Oh, well. We can’t all be named Lionhart or Moosejohnson. 

Thanks for following.

The End