Category: Uncategorized
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Comida e Bebida
If you know a little Spanish, you already know enough Portuguese to guess what this post is about (but as we learned yesterday, you can’t pronounce it). Without going all Anthony Bourdain on you, I absolutely agree that other cultures are best experienced through the stomach (and oftentimes the liver). Here are some examples from…
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Mother Tongue Tied
As languages go, Portuguese is a bit of a two-faced Judas. As we explore the island of Sao Miquel in our shitty, rented Renault (Renault is French for Chrysler, by the way), the signage is easy enough to translate if you’ve spent any time studying Spanish (or a Doordash menu from the Mexican restaurant on…
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Azores 101
I realize that not everyone of my readers is a seasoned, world-savvy, international polyglot like me (you know, the guy who thought Estonia was a late-model Hyundai less than twelve months ago), so I thought you might benefit from a little, hard-earned Azorean trivia to round out your knowledge base. Lesson 1: The Azorean Islands…
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World Tour(ettes)
Growing up, I had an uncle with Tourette’s Syndrome. Sadly, however, it wasn’t the hilarious kind that made him spew the most inappropriate of words during the most appropriate of situations. Uncle Ron just made a repeated, disgusting nasal “honk” that forced you to involuntarily flinch in fear of being hit by the loogie that…
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Johnny Crappleseed
Whenever Patty and I first start contemplating an extended trip, especially abroad, we start stockpiling our cheapest, oldest clothes. You know the ones. The items you don’t really wear but still can’t seem to give up on: Shiraz-stained blouses, underwear that’s lost its will to elasticize, 5K funwalk T’s, shorts that make you look too…
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Amster-damned!
I don’t trust the Dutch, mainly because they are so hard to pin down. Just when I think I understand the difference between Holland, The Netherlands, Belgium and Luxembourg, it blows up into a Flemish fuck-all. (Oh, and you can throw “The Hague” in there too, which sounds like the name of an aging, Euro-discotheque…
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We’re Baaaack.
Hey, we’re packed and ready to go on our next adventure. Don’t we look excited? We’re off to the Azores this time, and we’ll hopefully get there before Trump learns where it is and sends JD Vance there to insult everyone. Sign-up below, and you’ll never miss a post?
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#16 A Finnish Finish
Growing up, my father extolled upon us the proud talking points of our Finnish heritage. Sisu, Molotov Cocktails, Sauna, and The Winter War were all covered repeatedly, and most are straight-up, real things of which to be proud. Obviously, that affected me, and a big part of this trip was connecting images with what had…
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#15 Left Turn
This has been an amazing vacation, and so far Finland is my favorite European country to date. Although saddened by the prospect of leaving, we know it’s time. I’ve eaten so much fish here that when I cut myself shaving this morning, my mercury-rich blood formed little balls and rolled around on the bathroom counter.…
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#14 Vinjetteja
Finnys I have never seen so many young, thin, blonde, aloof, beautiful women in one place in my life. It’s like a Taylor Swift concert is perpetually letting out in the streets of Helsinki. They’re simply everywhere, traveling alone and in packs. We’ve resorted to referring to them simply as Finnys, which is verbal shorthand…
The Hillbilly Viking 